Each time I visit this blog it is with a sense of guilt and sadness. I wonder if I should just remove it and let it die a dignified end, or leave it here to linger slowly. Until I decide, it is stuck in limbo.
Well, 2015 is nearly over. I am proud of many things I did this year, including contributing two poems to this poetry book collection, being a finalist for ELLE magazine’s 2015 Talent Writing Competition, signing a book contract, adoring my niece (even though I had nothing to do with her creation, I feel my adoration is an achievement in itself), giving talks at the BFI and The National Theatre, sponsoring more donkeys and a puppy, getting to know colleagues better, occasionally going out on a date despite myself, signing up for ballet classes (a recent venture), making my English home a bit more cosy and me, perfecting the art of chicken soup, visiting The Donkey Sanctuary in Sidmouth, receiving messages, emails, cards and spoken thank yous from students, not dying from marking every spare moment of my existence, and hopefully, being a decent person (with the occasional lapses).
This list does not, of course, take into account the many days in the past year I wanted to give up, was so tired I couldn’t even bother to eat, felt stress caving in around me, experienced loneliness like never before, and questioned every one of my life choices. I would like to suggest 2016 will be easier, but I live under no such delusion. Resilience, I’m learning, is as much a skill as writing.
Take care friends, I hope you see this year out safely. And I leave you with a final request for 2015. I’m fundraising for Yad Vashem, to help raise money that goes towards recording Holocaust survivors’ testimonies. It costs $1,500 to record just one testimony, and these are of vital historical importance. Yad Vashem primarily relies on public donations and support rather than government funding, and so I urge everyone to please donate and spread the word. There will be a permanent link on my blog sidebar for this soon.
Be kind, 2016.